Monday, March 4, 2013

Restart

I started this blog a year or two ago. I hardly ever used it. Well, I'm back. A few days ago I found out that I'm diabetic. I can't act too shocked, I didn't take care of myself that well and my family has a huge history of the disease. My weight loss journey started about 3-4 years ago. I lost 50 lbs, then stopped trying as hard. I guess I lacked motivation, follow-through, whatever you want to call it. My diagnosis changed all that for me. I've watched far too many of my family members be diabetic and act like it's nothing, like they can still eat tons of junk food and pretend like everything's okay. I'm DETERMINED to not let myself go down that path. Thursday marked the beginning of a new chapter of my life. One with more complications, but hopefully more accountability and healthiness in the end.

A bit about me: I'm 27, married, and currently live with my in-laws. We moved to IL from MO and are staying with them until our house sells. I'm 5'9 and a half, and currently weight 241 lbs. When I first started my diet I was 299 lbs. That was my first wake up call. I used to be addicted to an online video game called World of Warcraft. Sad, but true. I was unemployed for about 4 and a half years, partly by choice and partly by circumstance. I finally just found a job after looking determinedly for 6 months. It's just a cashier at a grocery store, but it's some place for me to start again. I love fuzzy socks and taking long walks on the beach. Just kidding, I hate walking on the beach. Sand gets EVERYWHERE. I'd much rather walk in a park or in a forest or on trails. That's enough boring back story!

I think the hardest part of my new lifestyle is I cut myself off junk food. I loooooove chocolate and pastries and other equally bad for me things. I'm limiting myself to only having them once a week though. I haven't even made it through my first week (it's only been about 3 days) and it's so hard already. I stopped at the store after work and was so tempted to buy something yummy, but I didn't. I'm learning that I have more will power than I thought. I'm also learning to appreciate the sugars in fruit, instead of buying the chocolate I was craving, I bought my items and ate the banana I had brought with me to work for a snack. It was honestly more satisfying than chocolate would of been, although chocolate still sounds good!

I've lost about 5 lbs since I learned I was diabetic. Probably because I went out and used a chunk of our tax return money to buy a 350 dollar treadmill. I love that thing. My doctor wants me to exercise an hour every day. I'm working my way up to that goal, I'm at 40 mins a day at 3mph right now. The one thing I hate about the treadmill is I feel kind of dizzy after I get off it for a few minutes. Not like I'm sick dizzy, but more disoriented. Maybe because I'm walking in place for so long? Either way, best purchase I've ever made. I'm also planning on joining a gym that's right next to my work. It's 50 dollars per month for the family plan. They have zumba classes twice a week that I'm really interested in trying. I'm planning on joining after I get my first paycheck. My body definitely isn't used to working out so much. I can walk outside for an hour every day and not feel it, but working out on a treadmill is kicking my butt. It's worth it in the end though.

I named my blog Gaining Some Life because I don't want to focus on what I'm losing. I'm tired of wasting my time focusing on the negative things. Every pound I lose, every ounce of muscle I gain, it's all a step towards taking my life back. Towards rediscovering who I am, and what I'm capable of. And one thing this past week has taught me is that we're all far stronger than we can ever realize.